Tuesday Night

Greetings from Marty, Jack, and the family:

Tuesday has been a good day. Marty has been going all day and doing pretty good. Breakfast started off rather slow, but the other two meals went fine. The nurse was here and all checked out. A CBC was done and it showed WBC at 7.2, HBG at 10.8, and PLT at 4. The first two are not bad for her at all, but the last one is a real problem, because anything below 10 can allow for spontaneous bleeding at any time. Also, the bad that showed up was that the neutrophils which basically tell how well the bone marrow is doing are only at 7, which is very low. So, the indication is that the bone marrow is not recovering very fast.

Visiting today was Carolyn W., Rita and Phil K., Susie N. brought dinner, Juanita G., and Beth E. Also, Glenn R. was also here to do a project for us. We have certainly enjoyed all the visits and everything people have done and given to us. It is so awesome to be back home close to friends and able to visit with them. Praise the Lord!

God is good – all the time! All the time – God is good! Today was indeed one of those days that God was certainly close by. I am not sure why, what was so different about the day and nothing big was expected, by me at least, but I still felt so close. What an awesome feeling on a normal day. You know what I mean? Have you had it happen often to you? It is so awesome to be relaxed and with God for no special reason. When that happens to me I really have an extra special good day. What about you?

Tell you what; let’s see if we can do that tomorrow. When you wake up the very first think that you do is to praise God, give thanks to God, and then give God your life, tell Him that today you are His and He can use you anyway that He wishes – you will follow and do. And then of course you must surrender your life to Him and what a day you will have. How about giving it a try?

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Monday Night

Greetings:

Well it is only 10 pm and hopefully, I am in better shape tonight than I was at 2 am on Saturday night. I still laugh about it and, understand that it was a great topic for the Adult Sunday School Class. So, you see it served a purpose! Praise the Lord!

Today has been a pretty good day. Marty has had visits from Francis J., Bonnie and Glenn R., Melissa and Levi C. and Judy F. who brought us dinner. Thanks to all, it was certainly good to see you and to have some fellowship with each and every one. However, with no offense to any of the adults, I do believe that Marty really got her greatest joy out of holding and loving that little four week old Levi. She was just smiling and having a great time during the time she had that baby in her hands. Praise the Lord! And, I might note that she has not really lost her touch to keep a baby happy.

This evening, Marty also had the pleasure of going out to the tomato garden to pick a few tomatoes, and direct me as I picked the rest of those ready to be picked. Praise the Lord! We thought that it was great that she was able to eat the tomatoes she had planted, and so tonight was even better that she went out to the garden herself. Then, on the way back in she had me go in the house and get the stool so that she could sit down at the flower garden, that she also planted, and water it. We certainly give a hardy and heart filled thanks to Cheryl J. who watered both of those gardens during the 7 weeks we were gone so that they were still alive and well for Marty to water tonight. Thank you Cheryl and praise the Lord! What a blessing!

Marty had two good meals today and a couple of snacks. And, all of her other important elements of life have been good. Claudia the hospice nurse comes tomorrow and we will see what her assessment tells us. We praise and thank God for the quality time we are having with Marty. Praise the Lord!

“We never know what a day may bring, but only that the time for serving God our Father is always present.” I have quoted that line many times but the last few weeks it has really taken on a different meaning that I comment to you. The reality is that all of us are in the same place as Marty is, we do not know when God will call us home. Yes, you say but Marty has medical evidence that her time will be sooner. Is that really true? Who would have ever guessed that Bonnie Combs would die before Marty? And, our friend Bruce who we mentioned earlier had died of cancer, did not even know about his cancer let alone thought he would die before Marty. And, the 73 year old woman that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that was in St. V’s died the afternoon of the day Marty came home. “We never know what a day may bring….” God has a plan that we and not even medicine can control; only God can. Praise the Lord! So again, that makes the bottom line the fact that we must put God in the first place and priority in our lives. Doing God’s will and living God’s way must be our first priority in life. That is hard for us to conceive and to believe that we can. After all, we want to be in control and with this new way of life we think we will not be.

Well, you know I have been learning a lot about that process over the past 11 month and even that God has the patience to change us and that we do have a different kind of control. I have had trouble receiving the grace and love of First Presbyterian Church, Peru, IN over the past 11 months. Then, I have come to learn and accept that God has me ministering to the First Presbyterian Church, Peru, IN and many, many, many more people in a different way. Now, I have the control over whether I continue to feel bad and guilty over not doing the traditional ministry at this time, or whether I put God in the first place in my life and do the ministry He wants me to do at this time and in the present situation. It has taken quite a while for me to come to a comfortable feeling with what I am doing but, have really done so during Marty’s last hospital stay. Praise the Lord! God is good – all the time! All the time – God is good! Thanks for affirming the quality and meaning of the ministry I have been doing and I pray that I can continue to allow God to use me at His will, and I certainly invite you to do the same if you are not already. Praise the Lord!

May you have a positive day and God bless.

Jack
John 3:16

Monday Morning

Greetings:

Marty had a good nights sleep, only up once, and seems to be doing pretty good this morning. She has had breakfast, gotten cleaned up, and is now getting dressed. Then it will be time for a nap.

I also wanted to share a couple of things that I forgot to put in the blog last night. Jennifer and the boys are staying for a while. Praise the Lord! Travis left about mid afternoon yesterday and today is on his way to Chicago for work. He will probably be back Friday night, we will see how the week goes. Eric and Erin left about 6:30 pm last night and we don't know for sure when he and/or they will be back. Eric has some vacation time, plus the American Family Leave Act for time, but the later is without pay. So we are trying to use that time at the right time. Please pray that timing works out and that all travel is done safely.

Second, for those that are out of town and would like to visit please give us a call. For those who are local and would like to visit, please DRIVE BY THE HOUSE AND SEE IF THE RED HEART IS ON THE DOOR. IF SO, come on in - IF NOT, please do not come in, becasue it means that Marty is either sleeping or other wise tied up, so please try again. There are also some instructions at the door for hand washing, etc. inside the door before you see Marty. Her immune system is so low that we are having to do things to try and help protect her from getting any infection. This was one of the doctors' concerns in letting her come home. He would have liked to see her system a little stronger before she came home, but she wanted to come, so come she did. We would also encourage you to keep your visit brief and to judge the length of your stay by the number of people who are here and how Marty seems to be doing. Also be aware that because of her very low blood counts it is possible that she could fall asleep on you. Please do not take it personally, it is just something that she can not help. She does indeed what to see her friends, but at times it is very hard for her to stay awake. So, please consider short but often visits. Thank you! Praise the Lord!

May yonhg
]zau have a positive day and God bless.

Jack
John 3:16

Sunday Night

Greetings:

For those of you who read last nights’ (or early this mornings’) publication, you will have indeed seen that I was TIRED, TIRED, TIRED!!!! One person so far was “brave” enough and had the “opportunity” to say something to me about it. When I read it today I laughed so hard, and I could not believe it. No, Marty did not go to a motel last night and I have absolutely no idea where that came from. Also, the sentence about “paint” makes no sense to me either. I have no idea what I was thinking about. I was falling asleep and obviously not able to concentrate on what I was doing. Maybe there is a real lesson in that for all of us. When we are really tired and can not concentrate, maybe we are a lot better off to wait until we have had some rest and can function normally before we do anything, particularly write a blog.

It also seems to me that the above applies to when we loose touch with God. When that happens, we should make our first priority to get God back in first place in our life, before we make decisions about anything else in life. It is so awesome when we allow God to rule and function through our life. God gives us the strength and even the words to say when we allow Him to do so. God will even do that on very short notice, when we call upon Him and let Him use us. There is really nothing that is according to God’s will and way that He will not help us to accomplish. I have seen this so many times during the last 11 months and I hope you have as well.

The latest one was this morning when I was sharing with the Church Family what was going on with Marty. At the end, I thought it would be good to finish it all up with a prayer. I had not prepared a prayer, nor had I even thought about doing one so I had nothing in mind to pray. So, I asked God for His help and to use me for a prayer that would help the Church Family to bring their focus back on the worship service and God as the first priority of our lives. Well Praise the Lord! God is good – all the time! All the time – God is good. And indeed God did use me to glorify Him in that prayer and to give guidance, grace, and love to all present. I found the prayer to be very meaningful and helpful to me personally, and for that I give thanks and praise the Lord!

The weekend has been fairly busy with visitors and we appreciate each and every one of them. On Saturday, were Jane and Gary H., Cheryl and Francis J., and Bev W. On Sunday, we had Andy H. (with the flowers from worship – thank you very much), Pat and John S., Wally B., Kristin H. and the girls, Susie D. and Doris from Winchester, Peg H. from Defiance, and Cheryl J. and her sister Doreena. What a blessing to see and be able to fellowship with all of these folks and to receive their grace and love, as well as God’s grace and love through them. Praise the Lord!

Now for Marty’s condition today and tonight. I would say that it is not that much different for the most part than they have been. We had one experience with Marty this morning when she was not totally “with it” – confused- and very sleepy. However, after about an hour and a half nap she came out of it and had a great day. Thank you Lord and Praise the Lord. Again, I would have to say that the problem that Marty is having is a lot more internal than external. When you first see her she does not look that sick, but her internal tests and blood tests show that not to be true. And, right now because blood work is not being done we don’t know exactly what is going on with her blood. All that we do know is that she is in very bad shape.

Marty, after the first few hours of the day, had a good day. She ate two really good meals, drank her water and iced tea, was awake most of the day, and really got along quite well. Praise the Lord! We hope there is another good nights sleep and a good day tomorrow. Again, thanks for your support, love, prayers, and grace in so many different ways.

Have a positive day and God bless.

Jack
John 3:16

Saturday Night

Greetings:

Third day at home and all is going fairly well. Marty had a good nights sleep last night, perhaps the best since before she went into the hospital. Praise the Lord! At least I think so! Today Marty was on the go for the entire 13 hours that she was up. She did lay down a couple of times, but I don’t believe ever went back to sleep. So when she went to bed one could easily see that she was really, really, really tired. Don’t know if that all happened because of the sleep schedule or because of not following what she was supposed to do. At this point it doesn’t really matter, the situation is over and things will go better.

Marty did not eat to well today. She did eat breakfast and lunch, but Eric and Erin had fixed some fish, that Marty really loves, for dinner but she just was not able to enjoy or even just eat it. So she is spending the night in the motel

I do believe that Marty is in or getting close to the position that I thought she would when she get sun. I do believe her platelets are very low, because her noise bleeds when she blows it. We pray that this does not get worse and that she is handling it pretty well at this time. However we are concerned that she might loose it and/or have more to do this trip for as short paints along with her dinner.

I got a pretty good night sleep last night, but I have been rather busy today and like the associates say on their emails I am tired.

Well folks Marty has already gone to bed and believe me I am ready to do the same right now, in fact, I had fallen asleep and Eric woke me up and wants me to go to bed. So that I believe I will do.

God bless, be positive, and God bless you and all who you love.

Jack
John 3:16

Friday Night

Greetings to all:

Marty has had a busy day, has been and is quiet tired, but still is getting around and doing her things. We have had visits today from the hospice nurse, Cheryl J., Joan J., Bev and Vern W., and Dick and Andy H. It was indeed good to see and fellowship with each one. It has been a long time since we have been with many of our friends and members of the community of faith so, it is certainly good to be back with a few at a time at this time. Marty does enjoy seeing and being with friends, even though at times she does fall asleep while visiting.

The sleepiness is no doubt from the low blood counts. Marty has had this problem before when the counts were low. At this point in time, we don’t know how this will work out. Always before the bone marrow has had a blood and/or platelet transfusion to help it come back, but that will not happen this time. So, we have to wait and see what will happen now. God is good – all the time. All the time – God is good. And we praise the Lord for all that God has given us.

After having printed a lot of medical information for the time Marty was in the hospital we don’t have it to print it now. So, all that we can say is that Marty is up for meals, to the bath room, and to do other things she feels she needs to do. Then she is in bed for rest, naps, reading, and watching movies with the grandchildren. She does have a little cough, her feet and ankles are still big, and she has a pain patch to control her pain – which it does a pretty good job. The bottom line is that she tells me she is “Okay” but we have really not defined what “okay” means. The good thing is that she is still up and about to the glory of God.

Yesterday I had to go to the hardware store and so I rode my motorcycle and took the “long way” to town and the store. Well, maybe to call it the “long way” is a little misleading, what I really did was to take a ride. I was on both routes 31 and 24, but off on many county roads most of the time. Of course, the corn is up pretty high right now and it was hard to see at some of the corners. It was indeed a situation that even if you did not have the stop sign you wanted to slow down, be prepared to stop, and look both ways before going on a cross. As I was experiencing this I got to thinking about how that related to our life with God. There are those times when we just breeze along with “tunnel vision” so, that we don’t see anything but what is right in front of us and we actually lose site and touch with God. So, it is much better when we slow down and look around so that we keep our eyes on God and do not lose sight of His will and plan for us each day, each hour, and each minute. It is so easy for us to lose God in our daily activities which are just the times that we should not lose Him because then we become lost. God is in so many different aspects of our lives when we look and are aware it is easy to see Him and know His will for us. Praise the Lord! So slow down your life travels and take time to look both ways to see God and His will for you.

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Thursday Evening

Greetings and Salutations to all:

Praise the Lord – day one at home has gone pretty darn good. We have been able to get more things unpacked, put away, organized, washed, repair to the toilet and even a ride on the motor-cycle while visiting with the hospice chaplain, family, grandchildren, and friends. We were so pleased to have Wally B., Nancy and Mark B., and Susie and Terry G. stop by for a visit and even bring a meal for us to break bread together. Praise the Lord, God is so good, all the time – all the time, God is so good.

Marty has done fairly well. We were in hope that sleeping in her own bed and not having to have blood draws or breathing treatments that she would be able to sleep better. But, that was not really the case. Marty still had a great deal of trouble sleeping last night, and even in napping at a controlled time today. She did fall asleep a couple of times when she really didn’t want to. She was indeed forgiven. She did shower, ate two of her three meals at the table with the rest of the family and did several other things to benefit the cause. She does move rather slowly, often needs to balance herself on things that were to her sides, and had to be helped to get up out of a chair. She ate well at two of the three meals today and overall besides being tired had a pretty good day. Praise the Lord!

Psalm 91:11 states: “He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways….” Wow, again look at the faith and trust of the psalm writer. Most of them being shepherds they found themselves out in the fields, often times alone, with their flock and lots of wild animals and all kinds of different circumstances, life threatening and perhaps even life healing, and they found their security, love, and peace in the Lord. Praise the Lord all those many years ago people in all ways of life knew, accepted, and acknowledged the grace of God.

So, it is today that as Marty and I enter this new phase of our journey here on earth that we look to God to guard us, strengthen us, encourage us, and guide us to fulfill His plan and glorify Him. There are a number of things that again we do not know about this part of the journey because we have never personally been here before. We both have been with other people and families that were taking this path and we have tried to allow God to work through us, as an RN and as a pastor, to help those individuals and families. We have already felt God’s presence and heard His words of assistance and assurance – what a blessing. As we go this route we know that God will guard us and that God’s will will be done. The psalmist’s words are still true today - Praise the Lord!

Please have a positive day and glorify the Lord.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Wednesday Night

Greetings to all from HOME:

Need-less-to-say after 7weeks, 49 days, Marty was certainly more than happy to get home. At the same time we MUST commend and praise Dr. Lee and the staff on the 6th floor of St. V’s Hospital. Believe us they are a very special group of people, who we have gotten to know and to love and are certainly the richer for it. It is so awesome on that floor. The nurses work 12 hours days and normally there is one nurse for each 3 or 4 patients. That means that most of the time they are able to spend time with each patient and that is really how you get to know them and they get to know you. Their goal is to be there for the entire family and not just the patient. That to is awesome. There are a number of stories I could tell about the good times that we had, but I will not, I will just say that we give thanks to God for His servants that He has called to work on 6 south at St. V’s Hospital and who have been such an asset in our lives. Praise the Lord!

Now, as for Marty the trip home was tiring but she made it and has kept right on going.
Eric and Erin came over to help us get home which was certainly appreciated. Erin is staying until Sunday, but Eric has to go back to work and then will come over for the weekend. Praise the Lord. Before, we got out of the parking lot Marty decided that she was hungry – I guess rightly so, since it was already 12:30 pm – so, we stopped at Applebee’s and had some lunch. Then shortly after we got home a nurse from hospice arrived to admit Marty and begins to educate me to be the primary care giver. Jennifer and the boys arrived this evening and so we certainly praise the Lord that we can be together. Travis will be coming over for the weekend and it will be good to see him. Meanwhile Marty is staying busy as usual. We are certainly grateful to have all the kids here and continue to praise God for them.

Marty’s physical condition has not really changed but her hip and leg are still causing trouble.

It is indeed getting late and we are tired. So, we are going to let it go for tonight. May you have a positive day tomorrow and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Wednesday Early Morning

Greetings to all:

This will be the last blog published from room 6610 at St. Vincent Hospital in Indy by Marty and Jack Hess. Yes, we will be going home today (Wednesday) right at the end of our seventh week here, which means a total of 49 days this stay. It also means that we have spent 105 days on this 6th floor of the hospital since September 28, 2006. It has indeed been a long haul and Marty will be very, very happy to see and feel the outside tomorrow. Praise the Lord! And besides looking forward to getting home, she is also looking forward to being reunited with Buddy. They have only gotten to be together once since Marty came into the hospital. So, I can just imagine what an exciting time that is going to be.

As was indicated in last night publication once home we will have the assistance of hospice. That means that there will be no more treatments of any type for the AML which includes no more transfusions of blood or platelets. Marty had blood last Sunday and her HGB today was 10.8 and she had platelets today because they were down to 13. At this point in time, we do not know what they went up to. The big question now is how long will the blood and the platelets last? The longer they last the more quality time that Marty will have. So, we will pray and ask for prayers that they will last longer than the few days that they have been lasting, and that the bone marrow will begin to produce as it should, so, that the WBC, the HGB, and the PLT will be replaced as needed.

Marty is indeed stepping out in faith and putting her total trust in God that she will have some quality time with family and friends and that her transition to the eternal and with her God will be peaceful and without major incident. May that be our prayer as well.

It is late and the day has been long. So we will close for now and publish again tomorrow from home. Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Monday Evening

Greetings to all:

I guess it is fair to say that this is a day that we have all known was coming, did not expect this soon, and did not want to come at all. Dr. Lee affirmed this morning that the fears that we had over the weekend were true. The blasts that began to show up in Marty’s blood on Friday are indeed an indication that she did not go into remission with the last chemo. The blasts have continued to come with 27% being in the blood today.

So, Marty has made the choice to come home and we will have the help of hospice. This means that Marty will have no further treatment for the AML, but will be kept comfortable as needed until the Lord takes her to be with Him and she will have that WIN that she talked about almost 11 months ago. We do not know yet exactly when she will come home because her bone marrow and blood counts are so low that the doctor does not want to release her for fear of infection. We are hoping that by Thursday or Friday she will be able to come home. Marty is very much ready for that. Once she gets home it is still very much in God’s hands and plan as to how long she will live. But God is good – all the time! All the time – God is good!

Again, I have to say like I did last night, that we do not understand the plan or the details – if we did we would be God – but we do know and understand that God only will do good for His children/servants, all who He loves. It is into that last understanding that we place our faith and trust and from which we receive our strength to go on according to His will. Praise the Lord!

At this point, tonight I am not sure that I have anything else to say except to say keep the faith and praise the Lord.

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Sunday Night

Greetings on this Lord’s Day from two of God’s children in Indy:

This has been another of those lazy, drowsy days for Marty. Her HGB went from 8.9 yesterday to 7.2 today. Therefore, she had to have two units of blood today. The pre-med for blood and the blood itself seems to make Marty so drowsy and it usually last for the day. The other disappointing thing is that the blasts this morning were 40. We will talk to Dr. Lee in the morning and see where we go from here. Not much else has changed on Marty’s condition: she still is holding fluid; has bad mouth sores; is on the line with her kidneys and liver; blood sugar that is improving but finger tips on the right hand that look like meat; and briuses all over her body from shots and low platelet counts. But, spirit and attitude are good and we praise the Lord for that.

God is good – all the time! All the time – God is good! Proverbs 16:22 reads, “Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it ….” What understanding is the writer talking about in this verse? To be perfectly honest I am not sure what the scholars and interpreters say, but let me share with you what it is saying to me right now. At this moment it means to me that I have to understand that God has a plan that is to Marty and my benefit and that will glorify Him. Obviously I do not know the details of the plan, I only know that God loves us and wants the best for us. So, the over all philosophy of the plan is good according to God’s love and grace. Praise the Lord! That means then, that I must put my faith and trust in God. I must relay upon Him for my understanding and strength. I must allow Him to be the first priority in my life so that I am open and available for His will to be done through me. And, if I have that understanding I will indeed have a fountain of life, a meaningful life, a life that is full of God’s grace and love. I pray for that understanding and ability to know the presence of God in my life right now and always.

May you have a positive evening, night, and day tomorrow. God bless!

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Saturday Evening

Greetings from St. V’s:

We are so glad that so many of you are letting us know that you are finding the blog to be so meaningful. It sure does seem the easiest and best way to keep those who are interested informed of what is going on. And it has indeed been a pleasure to put a thought on the blog from my experience that day or at least that I connected to that day.

It was sure our pleasure to have Wally J stop in today. It was good to talk with him and to share some time. Monday is Paula’s birthday so, they were going to celebrate it with their kids over dinner tonight. I hope they had a good time. We also received several phone calls from back home and that connection is very meaningful and enjoyable as well.

As for Marty, it has been a sleepy day and indeed the numbers have been low. Her WBC was .2, her HGB was 8.6, and her platelets were 13. So, this morning she got 12 more units of platelets and I will go out on a limb, so to say, that tomorrow she will have to have blood again. Finally the blast count for today was 10. That indeed seemed both good and bad at the same time: good that it came down from yesterdays 20 but bad that there were any at all. We will see what it is tomorrow and then Dr. Lee will be back on Monday. Marty is also dealing with several mouth sores that are making it rather difficult to eat, but you know Marty she is still forcing herself to eat three meals a day. Her feet and ankles are about the same even though this morning she weighed in at about 7 pounds less than yesterday. Again, it will be kind of interesting to see what that is tomorrow. Marty is looking good to the people that see her, of course, talking stronger than when she first came in because the throat has cleared up, and though sleeping a lot still has a great spirit and attitude. Praise the Lord!

Yesterday I saw a website on a car window for the rose garden flower shop. It of course did what it was supposed to do and made me think about flowers and a rose garden and how beautiful they are. And then I thought about how when you get into a rose garden they also become “dangerous” if you will. If you don’t like that word then I could say I thought about how one can get hurt when working in a rose garden and/or just working with roses. Yes, roses and rose gardens are very beautiful, but you might say that the roses also have their own defiance mechanism, namely the “thorns” and yes they hurt.

Much like life isn’t it? Life can be going along just as great, beautiful, and smooth as can be until all of the sudden a big old thorn gets stuck in us. Sometimes we think because we believe in God that shouldn’t happen to us. But where does it say that in the Bible? That is our wishful thinking not God’s reality thinking. God never promises us a “rose garden” with or without “thorns” but He does promise us that He will always be with us in any and all situation in life. And if we will turn to Him He will help us in the “good times” as well as the “bad times.” What a promise, what an assurance, what a God! Praise the Lord! Thanks be to God! To me God’s promise is a rose garden in itself that is so awesome, so beautiful, so meaningful, such a constant strength in the good times and in the bad. God has the wisdom and the power to get us through all things when we have a personal relationship with Him, rely upon Him for all things and guidance, and glorify Him with all activities in our life. That includes even the times that the thorns stick us bad!! Praise the Lord!

Have a positive day as you join a community of faith to worship Almighty God and may God bless you and all who you love.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Friday Evening

Greetings:

Day 44 is over and we are waiting for day 45 to see what it brings. This day has been another rather good one. However, Marty’s blood count was not very good – WBC was 0.2; HGB was 9.1; and PLT were 20 – but with them being a little higher than yesterday Marty tended to stay awake more today. The questionable new issue today was that the blasts were at 20. This was the first time there had been blasts for the last 3 days. This report came in after Dr. Lee was in, so we don’t know what he thinks about it all. We will see what happens to the numbers when we get the new ones in the morning, but we will not hear from Dr. Lee until Monday. It will be interesting to see what the on call doctor has to say.

Another problem that Marty has right now, or should I say still has, is the retention of liquid. Right now her feet are at least twice as big as normal. They look terrible! And then it goes up her ankles and legs. It has got to hurt but she does not say a word. Also, she is having a number of mouth sores again. She is still taking the Mary’s Magic Potion in order for it to do its job. In the mean time she is having some trouble eating, but moves ahead each meal anyway because she knows that she has to.

Even though she went up to .2 WBC from .1 we have not heard different from Dr. Lee, so would guess that what he said the other day about still having a couple of days for the bone marrow to hit bottom is true. Again I suppose we will know more when we get the blood report in the morning.

I was lead to think about something today that is probably good for all of us to think about. It seems to me that in our society today we respond to each other more from what we have than from who we are. Where in the world did I every get that idea? Well it comes from the two “toys” that I got a year ago last spring. Have you every noticed when one motor cycle pass another, they will almost always wave to each other? It is really just a matter of holding ones left hand out to the left side and then putting it back once you have passed the other bike. And motor cycle riders will do that to any bike that goes by; it doesn’t have to be the same make or model. It is just matter of saying “Hi!” to another rider.

Now let’s think a moment about the Jeep – Wrangler. Those who drive one of those seem to like to wave to others as well. In fact that is what got me thinking about these topics today, because someone that was in a red jeep wrangler, three lanes away for me was waving to me and of course I waved back. Now the very interesting thing about Jeep – Wrangler drivers and owners is that they will only wave at each other, not at all Jeeps or anything like that. And of course someone who is in a car, truck, RV, or any other mode of travel that waves to a bike or a jeep - wrangler will wait a long time to get a wave back. You see it seems like there are two very selective groups here that respond to what people have rather than who they are. What a shame!

The real interesting thing is that since we got a Jeep – Wrangler and I got a bike a year ago last Spring I have fallen right into line and do what the others do who have the same. Why??? I guess it is because it is what everybody else is doing. So, what else am I doing in my life because it is what everyone else is doing? This is no doubt a good thing for us all to think about in relation to our own lives.

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Thursday Evening

Greetings from the North West side of Indy:

We are sure glad to be able to be able to communicate with all of you this way. I have thought about how hard and expensive it would be to try to let all of you know what is going on each day with out the use of modern tech at work. This is certainly one time that we can indeed Praise the Lord for the internet.

Yesterday was day number three that the WBC was at 0.1 and there were no blasts. Praise the Lord! This morning Dr. Lee was happy and was saying that he would take the 0.1. Further he thinks it will be 4 or 5 more days before the bone marrow starts working again. There is also a way through the blood to tell if the bone marrow is working or not. And right now the indication is that it is not working. That is okay but in another 4 or 5 days it needs to start working again. In the mean time, we hope that all of the cancer cells are getting eat up by the chemo.

Marty is having some of the terrible tiredness again, but that too is to be expected with a WBC of 0.1; a HGB of 7.7; and platelets of 27. Those numbers are just to low to do the job they have to do and for Marty (or anyone for that matter with those kind of numbers) to have any energy or desire to do much of anything. Other than that she continues to hold her own or improve just a little. I asked Dr. Lee this morning about the expectation we had at the start that she would be sicker than she has been before which has not happened and could it still happen? He said we take one day at a time, and with her numbers as low as they are, it means that she has next to no immune system, she could get anything at anytime and change the whole picture. We pray for God’s grace to continue to keep her going and for God’s will to be done.

Today is the 43 day or the start of the 7th week that we have been here at St. V’s. I have told some folks that have stopped by (by the way, we were really pleased to be able to spend some time with Jim and Alice H. from Peru today) that we do truly miss our friends and the community of faith back in Peru. It is hard to be away this long, under these circumstances I do believe. So, I have dealt with it by talking to everybody and having fun with everybody that I can. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t – just like life, sometimes things work and sometimes they don’t. But one of the things that I have found very interesting is actually kind of two fold: 1.) if you treat someone nice they are going to do the same to you. (Golden Rule) 2.) If you make someone feel good and valued by showing attention to them it will help them and they will remember you. Both of these open a door to start a relationship. I have many, many examples and stories I could tell to illustrate what I am saying, but let me just share one.

One of the patients not to far from us is a woman in her 70’s that has AML like Marty does. Because of here age they will not even consider doing a transplant, so, they are trying for remission. She has actually been here longer than we have. And for the last couple of weeks she has really been down in a lot of ways, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She is a very hardy, intelligent, independent lady who has seen a lot, done a lot in this world. Before coming to the hospital she was still working, not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Recently her sister has come from New York, her daughter from St. Louis, her son on the week-ends, and a number of friends during the week. Last week one time when I stopped to see her, I asked her how she was feeling and she gave me the standard “OK”. So, then I said, “Now, (name) tell me how you really feel.” Because from looking at her one could tell she didn’t feel “OK.” So, she said to me, with a friends sitting beside her, “I feel like ____.” I said now that sounds like a more truthful answer. And we talked a little more about it. I stop to see her about every day, since we come right past her room, and the other day when I stopped another friend was there, and when she introduced me she said, “This is one person to whom you can tell the truth about how you feel and she will listen.” Praise the Lord! I do believe that God has used me one more time to help some one on this floor and in this hospital. God is so good – all the time! All the time – God is so good!

Today’s scripture on the calendar is Matthew 4:19 and it reads: “Come follow me… and I will make you fishers of men.” It is our responsibility in all that we do, wherever we are, to follow Jesus and become fishers of people. That indeed is what it means to be a Christian. To share the love and grace of God so that people can feel comfortable with us and find in us the unconditional love and acceptance of God. It is not always easy, and it is not always accepted but it is the example that God has given us, in Jesus Christ from whom we are to learn how God wants us to live.

So, wherever we may be and whatever may be going on in our lives may we always be the followers of Jesus and the fishers of people so, that God will be glorified.

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Wednesday Evening

Greetings:

Praise the Lord! Give thanks to the Lord. For God is good and certainly worthy of our praise and thanks! Take note of the priority that you give to God, because God has you as His first priority since you are His child, thus God is disserving of at least the same priority spot from you! Praise the Lord! Really think about it and you will see exactly what I am saying and meaning and you will do it.

Today has been another pretty good day for Marty. Besides being again told by her five doctors, that everything is fine for today in their area, to keep her chin up, and take one day at a time, she had Erin and Eric here all day and a visit from John and Anna P. from Peru. Praise the Lord! Marty also had to get 12 more units of platelets today and possibly will have to get blood again tomorrow. Today her WBC was 0.1 for the 5th day, HGB was 8.8 even after the 2 unit of blood yesterday, and PLT were 17. Needless to say her blood is a mess. Of course when it is this way it has its effect on all the organs and all the parts and cells in her body. There are at least two more days for the WBC to be very low, and hopefully to “0” before it starts climbing back up. If it does not get to “0” we can only hope that .1 for as long as it has been there will be down far enough that it will put the AML in remission.

Marty has had here three meals today and had no problems when eating them. She has walked 3 times so far today and will have one more walk tonight. She, of course, was very busy and really enjoyed the company of Erin and Eric. She and Erin played some games, watched a movie, talked and just had a good old time. Erin is such a package of joy and hope and love that it is really awesome that Eric brings Erin over every week, so they can have this valuable time to-gather. As far as other problems, today was a day that apparently did not allow them to raise their ugly head. Praise the Lord!

I made a trip to Peru today for a doctor’s appointment. As I was driving on the way up I was also talking to the Lord. First, I was praising and thanking God for the sign He gave us on Sunday when He brought Marty out of the confusion. That was so awesome and so helpful to see that happen. Praise the Lord! Then second, I was sharing with God my concern about not understanding His will about all that is going on. Here we are at the fifth day that the WBC has been down and still not hit “0” – why Lord, I was asking. And here we are half way through the third remission induction and still no strong indication of remission – why Lord, I was asking. So again several questions and for some reason the inability to hear answers while knowing God is present with us and His plan is at work. Thus I am again dealing with a patience issue. That is a toughie isn’t it?

It has seemed to me for a long time that many of us have problems with patience. And those problems affect us in different ways but have the same root cause – we want what we want and we want it NOW! Further, a large part of that has to do with control; we want control, just as Adam and Eve did in the garden. So what is it that can help us in these kinds of situations? I believe that honest prayer is one thing. We need to take these things to the Lord and admit them to Him, letting Him know that we know where we are, even as He does. A second thing that I believe can be helpful is to journal. I believe this is a very helpful tool because it can indeed clear our minds of all the questions so that we are open to listen for God to answer. A third suggestion that many have found helpful is when you have these kind of important questions pick a specific time of day to go to the Lord about them and their answers. And do it at the same time each day. If they come into your mind at another time, then remind yourself that you will be dealing with that at such and such a time.

So there they are if you have a problem with patience three ways that may help you to deal with situations as you are confronted with them. And if you are not having the problem right now, remember them and/or write them down and put them in your Bible or some place that you will find them easily when and if the need arises you will have them. Praise the Lord!

May you have a most positive day, knowing God’s presence and blessing.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Tuesday Night

Greeting from 6610:

We are doing rather well – thank you very much and praise the Lord! All five doctors were in today and as far as each of them are concerned all is well for another day. And believe me they are indeed each saying one day at a time.

Marty had to have 2 units of blood today; her platelets were at 34 after getting some yesterday so, it would not be a surprise if she has to have them tomorrow. Her WBC was 0.1 again this morning, for the fourth day in a row, and the blasts were 0 after having been 20, 8, and 13 the last 3 days. Tomorrow should be interesting on both WBC and blasts.

Marty has not really felt too bad today. She is eating three meals per day but the menu is looking smaller and smaller as she has the items for the 5 and 6 time since she has been here. We have decided that the menu is not made for those who are here for a long time, it is only for the short stay folks. I asked the kitchen about other possibilities for Marty and they are to check into letting her order from the cafeteria. So, we shall see! Praise the Lord!

God is good – all the time. All the time – God is good! I came into the room this afternoon when the neurologist who saw Marty on Sunday was here. He was indeed quiet surprised about the condition that he found her in today. He had expected that he was going to have to do a spinal tap to try and determine what was going on. When I came in the room he asked me what I had done to make her better – and the first thing out of my mouth was the word prayer. And he said, “Well, it sure worked because I sure didn’t do anything, I still don’t really know what caused it, or what it was.” Then he said “I have some other patients that sure could use that kind of help.” Praise the Lord and Thank You!

There is no way at all that I can begin to believe that it was my prayer alone that brought about God’s grace, sign, and miracle on Marty on Sunday. We know that there are a lot of people all over the place that are praying for Marty and we know of a couple Communities of Faith that were specifically aware of her need on Sunday. So, to all of you we say thank you and want to let you know that we deeply do appreciate your continued prayer and support. Praise the Lord!

And for any who may be reading and/or following this blog for a sign of God’s love and grace, I certainly hope that if you haven’t already seen it that you do see it in this event. There continues to be in Marty and my minds and hearts no doubt that God has a plan and that He is working that plan out. There is no way that in this long struggle God has left us alone. Rather He has been glorified in many ways and will continue to be. Praise the Lord. God is good – all the time. All the time – God is good. We have and do indeed experience that goodness. Thank you Lord!

Finally, we want to say thank you for the visits we had today they were indeed a blessing. We were so blessed to see and spend time with Tim W. and Cindy K. of Peru, with Donna, Nancy, Emily, and Jacob B. of Defiance. What a gift and blessing this day has been – Praise and thanks be to God!

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Monday Night (July 16, 2007)
Marty’s Birthday

Greetings

Hope that you have had a positive day – we have. As indicated above it is Marty’s birthday and it has indeed been a positive day. I got signs and all to let everyone know what today is and it has worked, lots of people have greeted Marty. Then I cooked dinner out at the motor home and brought it in and we certainly enjoyed it. I had also gotten her a cake and it was in the nurse’s kitchen, so about 6 or 8 of them brought it in and sang happy birthday to her. They also gave her a card and a stuffed animal. So, all in all it has been a good day.

We also got good news from the neurologist that everything in the brain is okay; particularly for all that she has been through. Praise the Lord! They are going to continue to follow her because the MRI did show infection in the sinuses that they want to be sure does not go to the brain. She had to have platelets today and we expect that she will have blood tomorrow because it was at 8.1 today. Her WBC was 0.1 today, still not “0” so, we are real interested to see what it will be tomorrow. Marty has been getting around and feeling pretty good today. Praise the Lord!

Dr. Lee said this morning that he thought that Marty has another day or two before she really hits bottom. Then there is that building up period, before things really start back up. Oh yes, I almost forgot to let you know that there were 20 blasts in the blood this morning. This is the third day in a row and I kind of wonder if we still ignore it or not.

The thought for today is SLEEP. Last night I had to get water, etc. in the motor home so I only go a little over 3 hours sleep before I came over to see Dr. Lee at 4 am. Then I waited until 1:45 pm until the neurologist came in. So, it only left me time for an hour and a half nap before I started fixing dinner. So you can see why my thought for tonight is SLEEP. And since it is I am just going to cut this off and say GOOD NIGHT!

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Sunday Evening

Greetings to all!

God is good – all the time. All the time – God is God!! Praise the Lord!

Last night I was talking about God’s signs and wonders and as I tell you about Marty today I will be bring up one of, what I believe to be, God’s signs and wonders that we experienced this day. Praise the Lord!

I also mentioned last night about Marty’s confusion yesterday but in doing so, I do not believe that I really left out of the bag, how very bad it was. Further, I am not going to go into detail about it tonight, because it would be kind of hard to explain on the blog and take up to much room. But I will say that it got worse all day and came to a point where it was really bad. This morning when Dr. Josephson, a neurologist, came in she was no doubt at her worst: so he ordered a MRI, an EEG, and a number of blood tests. The only thing that we have heard so far is that he will talk to us in the morning. I take it that it will not be too bad of news or he would have done something else today. At any rate, at about 4:30 pm this afternoon Marty sat down on the edge of the bed and began to talk to me. In other words, she began to come back from that “world of confusion”. She knows that she was confused but she does not remember all that happened. I have told her a few of the things and she can not believe it. But that is history and we are praising God for this wonderful change in her condition and most certainly take it as a sign of His presence and His love. Even a number of the nursing staff has said this one was indeed a God thing, because medicine did not know what was happening yet and had done nothing to change it. Praise the Lord for His wonderful acts and gracious signs. Marty is still in the process of “coming back”, and we do have confidence that will happen. She has still eaten three good meals today and taken three walks in the hall. She wants to get a fourth one in before I leave, but I have to get water in the motor home so I am not sure that will happen.

We recall from the New Testament scriptures that Jesus was indeed a lover and supporter of children. Even when the disciples were trying to move them away so that they would not disrupt Jesus and His work, Jesus said to them, “Let the little children come unto me….” What an awesome witness. The little children who most often we think can not really contribute to the ministry, Jesus says let them come unto me. Why is this? I suggest to you that it does have to do with the ministry that they do. And if you wonder what that ministry is I invite you to watch a six year old minister to her grandmother, particularly when Grandma is in the hospital. What I saw this week end was just awesome. Praise the Lord! Erin was so loving and caring about her Grandmother yesterday and today. She was up in bed with her and put her arm around her. She was on her tip toes to give her a kiss. It seems at first like she didn’t want her to go for the MRI and then when she found out she could go along she helped to get her there. And the smiles on Marty’s face were awesome particularly against the other expressions that we had been seeing on her face. It was a very meaningful experience that said again, God uses little children to bring His grace and love to others. Praise the Lord. We certainly need to remember this particularly when we say that the children are the future of the church. They are indeed a part of the present church and have a very important ministry to do. “Suffer the children to come unto me,….”

What children do you know in ministry? What ones are you including in your ministry? What children are you bring to worship? They are important!

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Saturday Night

Greetings to all after this beautiful day and now awesome evening:

Eric and Erin came in last night and it was a very happy reunion for Mama and Erin. Then this morning they spent some time watching TV and playing Dora Dominoes. This afternoon Eric and Erin want to the Indy Zoo and had a good time. Tonight has been a few more dominoes.

Today was the 10th day since the second round of chemo started and it seems like it hit and hit hard. The WBC was down to 0.1, the PLT were down to 12 so Marty had to have 12 more units (just had 12 units two days ago), and the HTG was 9.3. The other thing is that after 5 days of no blasts showing up they did today with a count of 13. Doc said that it is too early to really put any stock into that number and/or that there really are any. So some more wait and see!

The thing that has really kicked in is what we have called the “chemo brain.” We have used that term in the past when Marty has not been able to remember something with the short term memory. Actually there has been some of it each time, and then it goes away for the most part. Well today it is not only memory, but it is also confusion, and it seems like a thought that she has to do something, but does not know what it is that she has to do. Of course, along with this has come a great deal of frustration and she has become very silent. The doc examined her this morning and talked to us about it. Then as it got worse during the day he had a CT Scan done and has called in another specialist. We have not seen that person yet, and I expect that it might not be until tomorrow. In the mean time it may be a long night because she slept some this morning, but since it has gotten worse this afternoon she has not slept one little bit. So I do not know if she will sleep a lot, or not at all. I sure wish I knew what it is and what is going on. The day nurse said that the night nurse had reported that it started during the night. So again we shall wait and see.

The scripture calendar verse for today is Daniel 4:3 which reads: “How great are his signs, how mighty his wonders! His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; his dominion endures from generation to generation.” It seems to me that one of the interesting things about the Old Testament is that once you get past all of the laws and rules, wars and killings, and the names that you cannot pronounce you get to some really neat stuff that sounds just like the New Testament. This is another indication to me that this is all about the same Triune God. And this verse in Daniel is one of those that indeed sure remind me of the New Testa-ment. Isn’t it awesome the way it is written? God’s signs, wonders, eternal kingdom, and endurance are all attributes that the Gospels tells us Jesus talked about and that the other books of the New Testament talk about. And oh how they fit into our lives today. Over 2000 years since Jesus, since God was on earth and we still worship and adore and glorify Him – that is endurance. God’s eternal kingdom is still our proclamation and our goal. And oh how we know that God still does mighty wonders and send us signs. God is so good – all the time, all the time – God is good. Praise the Lord!

This blog is not being read by or to Marty, so all claims of mistakes, etc. will have to be put on the shoulders of Jack who will not take any credit or certainly not charge any extra for them.

May you have a blessed Sabbath, a very positive day, and know God’s presence and blessing.

Jack
John 3:16

Friday Evening

Greeting to all on this Friday the 13th:

Sure hope that you have all had a good and lucky day. I know, Friday the 13th isn’t suppose to be that way, it is supposed to be bad luck, but 13 for me has always been a good number. I can not tell you how many times 13 has been positive in my life, after I was operated on with a temperature of 104, when I was 13 months old and I am still here to talk about it, I think 13 is a lucky number for m. But you did not turn to this blog to hear that story; you tuned in to hear how Marty is doing. So, let’s get to it!

Marty has really had a pretty good day. During the night she had low blood sugar again, down into the 40’s then the 60’s, but since before breakfast she has been high, but not over 189. So that has been better today – Praise the Lord! I met and talked to the doctor today for the first time that is handling the blood sugar. I liked him even though I didn’t particularly care for what he had to say. He told me that Marty is now considered diabetic, but he is hopeful that he can control it with food and oral pills. The lung doctor also said that the lungs are indeed clearing up – praise the Lord. He still does not know for sure what the problem was in her, but we know that it is breaking up. So, the same medications, etc. will be continued in hopes of keeping it from coming back. She has done good work trying to get it all coughed up and out of her body. And she knows that God is good because she is in touch with Him and she feels His presence with her. What a blessing!! We continue to give thanks not only for His presence, but also for all the support and prayers that are being lifted for her. Praise the Lord!

Marty continues to have a weight gain problem. It is a balance between the amount of Laxis and allowing the kidneys to work. It seems when she gets enough laxis to keep the fluids down in her system, then her kidneys do not work hard enough and the numbers go down. And when she does not get the laxis then the fluid builds up. It does not take much of a change to see some-thing happen. So, this is a fine line and Marty is right on the edge. It is something that really needs to have an eye kept on.

Everybody that comes in is so pleased and surprised to see Marty looking so good and talking and acting so strong. A lot of this has to do with her attitude, eating, drinking, walking, and the steroids that she gets during chemo. In fact, it is probably the steroids that allow her to do all the other things which are so helpful. And, of course, the thing that none of us can see is what the organs and numbers are doing on the inside where all of her problems are. We certainly look forward to the time when not only does she look good and strong, but also she feels good and strong.

Today’s WBC was .3 so we are still hoping that it will go to .0 tonight for tomorrow. This white blood cell count being so low plays a lot of games on a lot of organs. It is a very dangerous and vulnerable time, when we take one day at a time because anything can happen. She will be able to get an infection so easy that she will not even know what hit her. At the same time a number of different organs will be rebelling because the white blood count is so low and they can even decided not to function any more. Among those organs could be: the colon; the kidneys; the liver; the spleen; the pancreas; the lungs; the brain; and/or the heart. As we sit and wait we pray to God that His grace will abound and His healing hand will be upon Marty. Yet we pray that God’s will be done so that God will indeed be fully glorified and we will praise God always.

Today we were so please to have Sandy and Joel Y. from Defiance to come and see us. It was a real treat and we certainly appreciated it. They were then headed to Fort Wayne to have dinner with their daughter and family. We were sure glad to have part of their day.

Today’s scripture calendar has a powerful and awesome verse for us to take to heart. It is John 8:12 when Jesus says: “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” Are you a “whoever”? I certainly hope so because look at what it means – to never see darkness but to always have the light of life. Isn’t it awesome to always have “the light of life?” But what does that mean? Does that mean that you never have problems and always know that is going on? I don’t think so!!!!! I do think that is what we would like it to mean. But if I read the bible correctly, God gave His creation man and women that option but they choose not to accept it. So now God gives us the promise that He will always be present with us and that includes all the things, “good and bad” that we have to go through. We have to remember that God did not promise us a rose garden, but He did promise that He would always be with us. S o, we have the opportunity for the “Light of Life” to be ours. And to achieve that we must put God as the first priority of our lives and follow God’s will no matter where it might lead. And when we do that we do not “walk in the darkness” because we know that God is good – all the time, all the time – God is good and when we do God’s will God will be glorified. And when God is glorified we receive God’s love all the time, and God’s grace in God’s time which becomes our time. The Great I AM is the Light of the World and we, you and I, are given the opportunity to be a part of that “Light”. Praise the Lord!

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Thursday Evening

Greetings and God’s blessing to you all:

“Oh what a beautiful morning,
oh what a beautiful day,
I have a wonderful feeling,
that everything is going my way.”
Praise the Lord!

Well today has been a pretty good day for the both of us. Marty has had to have both two bags of platelets and two units of blood today and her WBC was down to .2. That is the lowest that it has been recorded this trip to the hospital. We are hoping that tomorrow or Saturday will be a big fat O. That will give us a much better chance to go into remission.

Blood sugar has really been interesting today, in that this morning; actually during the night it got so low that she had to have OJ and crackers. Then at each meal it has been high and she has had to have more than her “normal” dose of insulin. It will be nice when those steroids get out of her body and leave her blood sugar alone.

The “stuff” in her lungs is breaking up, but is not coming up. I guess it doesn’t like two “up’s” in a row. At any rate she continues to get 4 breathing treatments a day, uses the incentive spirometer on and hourly or better basis, and has a new little toy that makes a sound that helps to break up the “junk” in lungs by using a. flutter valve or the acapella vibratory PEP therapy system. Of course on top of that are the medicines that she is getting. It sure seems like it should be enough to get all that out of there, but so far no go.

It seems like Marty has not been as tired and maybe not quite as weak today. Praise the Lord! With the blood the way it was that was a big surprise even for the doctor. He thought that she should be feeling worse than she is. We are just so please that she is not. Even though she walks the hall 4 to 7 times a day, the doctor wants her to be out of bed sitting in the chair more. So today she eat all three of her meals in the chair. That went well and was no problem. Praise the Lord!

Over all she seems to be feeling better that she did a couple of days ago, say Monday and Tuesday. Again we just pray that she gets down to “0” WBC tomorrow or Saturday and that on the way back up there are no infections and/or problems.

Today I have gotten a little bit of sleep. After the last two nights when I have only had 3 hours sleep each night, I decided that I need to get some sleep this afternoon. That happened after I had an experience this morning that I thought would be interesting to share. (By the way, as a side note, I was recently asked how I come up with the ideas that I write about each day. Well, God gives them to me a number of different ways: sometimes it is through something that happens that day, sometimes it is a thought placed in my mind, sometimes it is something I have read, and sometimes I have to sit and struggle and think about it before I can write.) At any rate we learned that the new doctor in Dr. Lee’s firm was going to be seeing Marty for the next four days. Dr. Lee had told us a little about him, but you know it was that ‘c’ word – change- and Marty and I had some mixed feelings. In fact we have talked a little about what we were going to do when Dr. Lee retires and really are not sure. We know and like other doctors in the firm and now who is this new guy? Like I said there is that ‘c’ word. Do you give him a change or what? Well if he is going to be seeing Marty for the next 4 days, since Dr. Lee is not making rounds, I guess you do give him a chance. And this morning it was awesome. He came in introduced himself, pulled up a chair, had knowledge about Marty’s case, was a very good listener, asked question, and both Marty and I were very pleased. We talked a little about his family, his experiences the last 5 years in Chicago, and really got to know a little about him.
It was indeed a good experience and we look forward to seeing him tomorrow.

Now my point for thought here is how often do we prejudge a situation and therefore do not give it a chance? Isn’t it true that we black ball a situation and/or person before we even really know the facts and/or the person? I remember growing up and being told that when I was a small child and would come to the dinner table I would look at the food and say “I don’t lik tha!” having never tasted it, or maybe not remembering when I had it before and could not get enough of it. You know what I mean? Oh, yes by the way, I didn’t get away with it, I always had to try everything and today there is not to much I don’t like. (You can tell that by looking at me.)

But what I rather we would look at is what did Jesus do in situations when He met new people. The stories that come to my mind about that are those where Jesus did not prejudge, but rather he listened to the person’s story, to the way that they looked at their situation, got to know them from what they had to say, and then He spoke. A few examples of this might be: the rich young ruler, the woman being stoned, the women at the well, the sick man lowered through the roof and so on. Isn’t that different than the way we do things most of the time? So often in to many situations we start out feeling sorry for our selves, because we think we are being wronged or getting the bad end of the stick. So right from the beginning we get defensive – was Jesus ever defensive? Then often we make it very difficult to work through a situation or conflict or a decision because we are so closed, so set in our ways, so sure that we already know what is right.

God has given us so many tools to work with to become the people He wants us to be, but we so limit our selves because we prejudge, hold grudges, become defensive, are closed minded, and just plain hate the ‘c’ word. If only we would be like the “C” (Christ) and put God in the first place and as the first priority in our lives, what a difference it would make. I am going to try and be better at that tomorrow and the next days, as the other way has been proven wrong for me again. Will you join me?

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Thursday early AM for Wednesday (6:15 am)

Good morning:

I had hoped to get this on earlier this morning for the real early birds, but I didn't, so I hope some of you will see it and be up to date for today on what has gone on with Marty recently.

Yesterday, was a better day for Marty. Several good things happened. First, her blood sugar has been coming down. Marty has been off the steroids since Sunday and that is making the difference. In fact, this morning she had a low blood sugar attack that required some immediate attention. (She is doing fine now.) Second, the WBC slowed down in its coming down. It only came done 1/10th of a point: from .7 to .6. That, I believe, is a good thing because as I understand it, Dr. Lee did not want it to come down to fast, which it seemed to be doing. Now on the other side of the fence, they decreased diuretics and she gained over 7 pounds. Obviously that is not going to work and they are going to have to try somethings else. Second, yesterday was a rather sleepy day, but all that needed to be done was done. Third, it seems that Marty was just a little weaker. That is to be expected as she goes toward the week-end when she is to be at her lowest point. We must pray and she must be careful that no complication set in.

Dr. Lee has taken a few days off and we are waiting for his replace to come in as he is taking rounds for him for the next 4 days. I did not know this so I have been here since 4:10 am. But I thought it a good idea to stay and meet the man who will take Dr. Lee's place when he retires in the early fall.

As I look out the window the sun is coming up and the sky has a lot of red in it. Further, in the building next door the sun - being a bright and beautiful red is reflecting off a window. It just looks so beautiful and inviting outside, as I am on the inside looking out. I am also reminded of the old saying - "Red at night, sailors delight, red in the morning, sailors warning." So according to that "old saying" what do you think your warning for this morning is? How will your handle it? Will it get you down or will it lift you up? Will it be old or new? Will you deal with it positively or negatively? And there my friend, I believe, is the key to the whole issue: it is not what will happen but HOW WILL YOU DEAL WITH WHATEVER HAPPENS? And most often that is an entirely different issue that we don't deal with properly. We tend to deal with the "warnings" and "bad things" that happen to us in a negative way, before we really think about and/or deal with what is the real effect it has and how we can be sure to respond positively to it.

For example, the clock on the wall is warning me that if I don't get this published real soon a lot of working friends and family will not see this until tonight. The purpose of it was to get out so you have an up date for the day. So how do I positive respond to this - even though I do have more to say about the subject, I will publish now.

Have a positive day and God bless.

Jack
John 3:16

Friday early AM for Thursday Evening

Greetings

Marty's changes for Tuesday have basically been a WBC of .7. That is getting low and perhaps a little faster than normal. Dr. Lee had said it would be the 10 to 12 day, that would be Friday or Sunday, that her WBC would bottom out. It will be interesting to see because at the rate it is going down now, it should be to zero before Friday. With the very low WBC today has come tiredness and weakness to add to the other problems they have been and are addressing: lungs, blood sugar, bm's, and generally mixed up numbers dealing with several major organs. Never-the-less, Marty is still walking the halls 4 or 5 times a day, eating 3 meals a day, showering, talking on the phone, and generally just keeps on going, and going, and going. Praise the Lord!

As you can read from above the next 10 to 12 or 14 days are going to be very important and perhaps very difficult. We will put them into the Lord's hands and ask that His will be done.

How do we let God be God? You know that is a difficult question, I believe, because we tend not to do that. But the reality is that when we do do it, there is a lot less stress and a lot more that gets accomplished. Praise the Lord! So how do we do it. Obviously the first thing we have to have is a personal relationship with God. We have to know God and feel God's presence with us at all times. That is so important because next we have to have God as the first priority in our lives and put our faith and trust in God, not just in words, but in reality and in action. Our faith and trust must shine through.

I was talking to the maintenance man on the 6th floor of St. V's today about this very subject. He is a christian and actually was the first one to say in our conversation today that we must have a personal relationship with God before we can really put our faith and trust in God. And he said that is where so many people have problems: there relationship with God is one of words rather than being our very best friend, guide, counselor, healer, and personal mentor. What a difference it can make when we encounter and relate with others having a personal relationship with God. It is really an awesome thing - praise the Lord!

And of course, even when we do have a personal relationship with God it can always be made better. Isn't this even true with our friends here on earth. Those we are closest to we are always getting to know better and better. So may it be with God, may we always be about getting to know God better and better and better.

Have a positive day and God bless.

Jack
John 3:16

Monday Evening

Greetings:

Today has been another day pretty much like the last couple days, not much has really changed.
Marty was quiet tired this afternoon, but has been doing good tonight. Dr. Lee has said that we can just take one day at a time. We know that there are a number of things that they are watching very closely. Actually, there are now four doctors that are seeing Marty on a regular basis and checking her chart each day. So, there should not be much that gets buy them, at least we think that will be the case. We are very happy with the doctors that we do have.

As we said last night Marty’s brother and wife came last night from Western PA about 70 miles east of Pittsburgh. They stayed over night and visited again this morning. It was indeed good to see them and visit with them. Jessie D. and her mother stopped by today as well.

On the scripture calendar is Psalm 17:6 which reads: “I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer.” What an awesome positive verse. The author writes with confidence. He is not saying you are so busy, O God, but when you have a minute will you listen. No, he says I call and God answers. That is assurance. And the other thing that I find in-teresting with that is that it is in the Old Testament, long before Jesus ever came to earth that this was written and proclaimed.

I guess I share those thoughts tonight because of the concerns about the way I hear a lot of people talk and respond today. To often people today do not have the confidence and/or assurance of God’s presence. All too often I hear people say that they don’t take things to God, they don’t call upon God because their issue and/or problem is too small. They feel like God has bigger issues and problems to deal with with other people, and they just are not going to brother them. I think that is too bad and so sad, because to me it is a shallow and weak understanding of God’s grace and love. In my understanding God does not consider and issue and/or problem to be out of place in coming to Him. If they are an issue, for one of His children, they are an issue for God. Praise the Lord!

So, take note, to call on God He will hear your prayer and will answer. Of course then the big thing is that we have to be willing and open to hear God’s answer and do God’s will. Sometimes I think that we don’t want to take things to God because we really want to be in control ourselves and we don’t want to follow God. So, we think that if we don’t take it to Him we don’t have to do it. WRONG!!!! God is in charge and God has a plan. When we do call upon Him He does give ear and answers. Praise the Lord!

Have a positive time and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Sunday Evening

Greetings to all!

Praise the Lord! This is the Lord’s Day, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Today has been a very sleepy day. Marty had to have platelets and then got her last chemo tonight So, prior to the platelets she had to be premeditated with Tylenol and Be nadryl which does indeed make Marty sleepy.. So, this afternoon was even worse than this morning as far as sleepiness.

One of the infection control docs was in this morning, because one of the slides that were made last weekend was beginning to grow some fungus on a slide. He said it is a very common fungus that will even grow on a damp side walk. It is not causing the problem in the lungs and he said there is a medicine that will take care of it. Praise the Lord! So, he put Marty on that med.

Other things have not really changed. Marty is still having problems with her blood sugar, with her bm’s, with her lungs, and on the edge with water retention. The chemo is now over so we wait and watch it work in her body to see what happens. We pray that the Lord’s will will be done and that we will understand it.

This afternoon we were so pleased to welcome Kim Brooks and their oldest son. Chris could not come down today because he is helping to arrange for Dave Rich’s service on Wednesday. Then tonight friends of ours from Lafayette, Tom and Carman came by to surprise us – it was awesome to see them. And the greatest surprise of all was Marty’s brother Al and his wife Roseanne who came all the way from about 50 miles east of Pittsburgh. Wow, it was really great to see them and they are staying the night so we will see them again tomorrow.

God is good – all the time! All the time – God is good! I was thinking about that statement today. All the time we say it, but what do we really mean? When things happen that we consider “bad” to people that we consider to be “good” do we still have faith and trust that God is good all the time. Or do we waver just a little and wonder why God would let such “things” to happen? I know that Marty and I have talked and talked with each other and with others about the death of Dave Rich. It seems to us that it was and is very sad and senseless. It is impossible at this time for us to think about what good could ever come out of it. But, if we truly believe that “God is good – all the time,” then we must believe and trust that God will some how use this “bad” event for some kind of “good”.

But that still does not really help us to deal with it. And each of us must deal with it in a way that is most meaningful and helpful to us. But the real point is that we must deal with it and not just let it go on in us. It maybe that we did not even know Dave, but we praise God for his 18 years of law enforcement to our part of the state of Indiana. Also, we might just feel bad that he was trying to be a good Christian and help someone when he was killed, and we wonder and question why. Or it may be that we know other members of his family. And of course, all of us feel sadness for his widow and for their children.

So besides prayer and thinking about it ourselves, to work through our own issues, what do we do? Let me suggest a couple of ideas. Weather you knew Dave and/or the family or not send them a card of thankfulness for his public service and sympathy for his death. You may want to think about sending the widow and children a “thinking of you card” once a month for the next six months or so. You might want to send a card of sympathy, appreciation, and /or thinking of you to the ISP Post, the Sheriff’s Office, and/or the Peru Police. I assure you that the officers of these other agencies and their families are very shook up and concerned, because it could have been and/or could be their loved one next. If you are lead to do something materially I remind you of the memorial fund for Dave’s children and there is also an organization called COPS which would welcome monetary gifts. COPS is an organization of survivors, of families of law enforcement officers that have been killed in the line of duty, who support and work with new families that find themselves in the same place.

You see God is good – all the time, as He leads others to lend a helping hand to those in need, what ever that need might be! Praise the Lord! Thank you God!

Have a positive day, and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Saturday Night

Greetings:

Praise the Lord! Another new day and another good day for Marty! She is still on what I call her “steroid high” which she seems to get each time that she is given chemo. We have decided since it has happened each time that she has gotten chemo that she has felt good, done lots of talking, and being so much like herself that it has to be because of the steroid she gets when she gets chemo. Tomorrow will be her last round of chemo for this time, so, it will also be the last of this Decadron Steroid use. So, we will see how long it lasts after the steroid and chemo are finished.

They are only doing some of the blood work every other day, and this was the other, so we did not get all the usual blood work. The CBC showed two down and one the same. The HGB was 10.5, the WBC was at 8.5 which is within normal but it is being targeted by the chemo and is going down, down, down, and the PLT were 22 which means that probably tomorrow Marty will need platelets again. So, everything that is going on here is expected.

The on call doctor, Dr. Heddermons, plans to put me on Diflucan one time per day and for the weekend and weekend is ordering another CT scan of the lungs tomorrow. This will be the third one that has been done and we think that this one may center in a little more on a nodule that has been showing up on the last two lung scans. It seems that the radiologist is a little concerned about it, but the lung doctor has just wanted to keep an eye on it for now because it is so very small. So, we will see how this plays out.

Well for the next week we will be waiting and watching as the chemo does its work. It will be beating up on those white cells and cancer cells. We will hope that they will indeed focus on those areas and leave the rest of her body alone. Of course, we know that will not really happen but we certainly hope it will not be to hard on her organs.

Fourth day and all is well – praise the Lord! Thank you God!

Wasn’t this a beautiful day? The sun was so bright and beautiful to look at as it shined on all of God’s creation. Particularly if one is looking at the sun from the inside to the outside so as not to experience the heat of the sun. And, of course, the farmers at this point are not as happy to see the sun as they would be to see some rain. As we know they would like to see a couple of days of a nice soft rain.

As I was thinking about that today I was also thinking no wonder we as God’s creatures and children cannot please our own, or even a majority of them, because God can’t either with His plan. We are so independent and so stuck on our own ways that neither we as individuals can please those around us, nor can God please His own children. Isn’t that sad? Think about what it would be like if we could, if we could all be on the same page and even be functioning as God wants us to. You know God lays things out for us and then invite us to follow, but if we choose not to and go our own way He lets us do that. However, it does workout to well most of the time.

The SUN is so beautiful and glorifies all of God’s creation, and so is the SON so awesome and He leads us in God’s plan to accomplish God’s will and glorify God. I encourage you to think about all of this as we are to have another nice, SUNNY day tomorrow and as you follow the SON to worship and glorify the triune God. Perhaps these may be some radical thoughts for our thinking, but I think they may just have some value as well. At least I don’t think there is any way that they could hurt. Praise the Lord!

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Friday Night

Greetings!

Day number three of the chemo, which is over the hump day with 3 down and 2 to go. Praise the Lord! Today was still a steroid high, making Marty feel pretty good. Praise the Lord! However, one of the problems is that she feels good during the day, but does not sleep very well at night between the steroid and all they do to her between 3 and 5 am. So, the last couple of nights she was lucky to get 3 hours of continuous sleep. That is really not enough, so, this morning was just a little bit sleepy, but this afternoon was pretty good. Praise the Lord! I truly love these good days and like to take advantage of them.

Now as far as her medical status, would have to say that it is about the same as yesterday. Her blood sugar may be a little better but is still high, because of the Decadron use. Also, it does seem like she is not retaining as much liquid and that is certainly a good thing. Let’s pray that they can keep that under control and it does not get as bad as it did with the last chemo treatment. The indications from the numbers are that most of the other things either remained about the same or went the wrong way just a little bit. It is kind of interesting to learn as time goes on all of the things that the doctors and nurses keep their eyes on. Because of this disease affecting the blood the way it does, it can make a difference for any and all the organs, and actions of the body. No wonder this is such a horrible, dangerous illness that is so hard to get a handle on. But we are still trying!

We were sure happy to have Rhonda and Gary D. stop by today and to learn that Rhonda’s mother, Linda Gaunt is improving here at St. Vincent’s on the Fifth floor, Room 5604.

From Marty’s scripture calendar today comes Hebrews 4:12 that says: “The Word of God is living and active… it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” What an awesome verse to think about. Don’t read on, stop and think for yourself about what God is saying to you in this verse. …. What did God say to you?

To me God reaffirmed and made me think about His living and active presence in my life today, not only in the Word, but in the world. And then thought about where I saw God today: in a phone call for a friend who called, thinking I would be involved with the death of the ISP Trooper and did not know about Marty. When I told him about Marty he prayed with me right there on the phone. In a relationship I saw between a mother and her baby in the elevator this morning. In the care Marty is receiving. In the determination that I see Marty has to do something about this illness. In the opportunity I had to show a young boy the jeep with the top down, let him sit in the drivers’ seat, and then sounded the siren. It sure made me think about Jesus wanting the children to come and the disciples trying to keep them away. I did not want to be gone long, so at first it was hard to take the time to do what I did, but it was awesome when I did it. The way the nurses are toward the patients and families on this floor of the hospital. And these are only a few of the ways I saw God today that are right on the top and forefront of my mind and heart and I certainly thank and praise God for these and the other opportunities to see His grace and love, His Word living and active in today’s world.

Now for the second part of the verse, I believe that we must take notice that it is saying that God judges the way in which our hearts respond to the opportunities to be a work in Him. For example, if because I was busy and in a hurry I would have ignored that little boy, God would have judged me in a different way than perhaps He did judge me for what I did do. So often, I think that we do not think about the fact that God is always with us and is seeing how we treat others and all of His creations. At times I believe that it is hard for us to think about all of this, because we are not always thinking about God or ack-nowledging that He even cares about what we are doing and/or how we do it.

Well, I hope you get the idea of what I am thinking about and saying because I am going to bring this to a close for now. It is great to hear from some of you that we are on the same page with of our thinking about some of the passages and topics that I have been commenting on. Praise the Lord!

Have a positive day and God bless!

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Friday Night

Greetings!

Day number three of the chemo, which is over the hump day with 3 down and 2 to go. Praise the Lord! Today was still a steroid high, making Marty feel pretty good. Praise the Lord! However, one of the problems is that she feels good during the day, but does not sleep very well at night between the steroid and all they do to her between 3 and 5 am. So, the last couple of nights she was lucky to get 3 hours of continuous sleep. That is really not enough, so, this morning was just a little bit sleepy, but this afternoon was pretty good. Praise the Lord! I truly love these good days and like to take advantage of them.

Now as far as her medical status, would have to say that it is about the same as yesterday. Her blood sugar may be a little better but is still high, because of the Decadron use. Also, it does seem like she is not retaining as much liquid and that is certainly a good thing. Let’s pray that they can keep that under control and it does not get as bad as it did with the last chemo treatment. The indications from the numbers are that most of the other things either remained about the same or went the wrong way just a little bit. It is kind of interesting to learn as time goes on all of the things that the doctors and nurses keep their eyes on. Because of this disease affecting the blood the way it does, it can make a difference for any and all the organs, and actions of the body. No wonder this is such a horrible, dangerous illness that is so hard to get a handle on. But we are still trying!

We were sure happy to have Rhonda and Gary D. stop by today and to learn that Rhonda’s mother, Linda Gaunt is improving here at St. Vincent’s on the Fifth floor, Room 5604.

From Marty’s scripture calendar today comes Hebrews 4:12 that says: “The Word of God is living and active… it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” What an awesome verse to think about. Don’t read on, stop and think for yourself about what God is saying to you in this verse. …. What did God say to you?

To me God reaffirmed and made me think about His living and active presence in my life today, not only in the Word, but in the world. And then thought about where I saw God today: in a phone call for a friend who called, thinking I would be involved with the death of the ISP Trooper and did not know about Marty. When I told him about Marty he prayed with me right there on the phone. In a relationship I saw between a mother and her baby in the elevator this morning. In the care Marty is receiving. In the determination that I see Marty has to do something about this illness. In the opportunity I had to show a young boy the jeep with the top down, let him sit in the drivers’ seat, and then sounded the siren. It sure made me think about Jesus wanting the children to come and the disciples trying to keep them away. I did not want to be gone long, so at first it was hard to take the time to do what I did, but it was awesome when I did it. The way the nurses are toward the patients and families on this floor of the hospital. And these are only a few of the ways I saw God today that are right on the top and forefront of my mind and heart and I certainly thank and praise God for these and the other opportunities to see His grace and love, His Word living and active in today’s world.

Now for the second part of the verse, I believe that we must take notice that it is saying that God judges the way in which our hearts respond to the opportunities to be a work in Him. For example, if because I was busy and in a hurry I would have ignored that little boy, God would have judged me in a different way than perhaps He did judge me for what I did do. So often, I think that we do not think about the fact that God is always with us and is seeing how we treat others and all of His creations. At times I believe that it is hard for us to think about all of this, because we are not always thinking about God or ack-nowledging that He even cares about what we are doing and/or how we do it.

Well, I hope you get the idea of what I am thinking about and saying because I am going to bring this to a close for now. It is great to hear from some of you that we are on the same page with of our thinking about some of the passages and topics that I have been commenting on. Praise the Lord!

Have a positive day and God bless!

Marty and Jack
John 3:16

Thursday Night

Greetings to all and all who you love:

This morning when I called Marty she sounded so chipper and chatty and full of energy and I asked her how she felt and she said fine. I said I can’t figure this out – every time that you get chemo you say you feel fine and are so chipper and chatty and full of energy. You are more like yourself when you get chemo than any other time – I don’t get it! Well, I thought more about it and came to the conclusion that it has to be the steroids that are doing it. When I got over here and Dr. Barnes came in and I asked him about it and he said that is exactly what it is. If those steroids were not so hard on the body, it sure would be nice to have her continue to take them.

We were so pleased to welcome and visit with Lynn, Gary, Nick, Hannah B. and Jean Z. who came all the way from Defiance to see Marty. I should mention be-cause I forgot to last night that Maureen, Troy, and Brook G. are also from Payne, Ohio. It has been so great to see these folks that we don’t see very often.

Today has been a very good day for Marty on the outside, but the inside has not been as good. This morning they sent her for a chest x-ray because her lungs did not sound good at all. The x-ray showed no pneumonia, thank you – praise the Lord! However, doctors, the nurses, and respiratory care have all said that her lungs sound pretty bad. So, a close eye is going to be kept on the lungs. Then there are a lot of other areas that are going to be watched as well, including monitoring her blood sugars due to the use of steroids, CBC, electrolytes, magnesium and monitoring the basic chemical system of her body that are really mixed up. and are being watched carefully.

If I have not mentioned it before this time, the routine is much the same as the last two times Marty has gotten chemo. She will get the chemo for 5 days, and then it will take a week to 10 days for it to really work and the WBC go to “0”, and it will then stay at “0” or at least the lower numbers for a week, before it starts going back up. Then another bone marrow biopsy will be done to see what is going on. So, that is kind of the plan, saying that all goes according to plan and without any problems. However, in our conversation with Dr. Lee as of Tuesday afternoon we all agreed that the potential for difficulties is much greater this time than either of the last two times for at least 3 reasons: first, because the chemo is stronger; second, because Marty’s body is weaker; third, because we already have some organs that are rebelling due to the whole situation.
So, we will have to wait and see.

You know, I have always said that patience are not something that I have an abundance of. I say that when God was passing them out and said patience, I thought He was talking about sick people and I said no thank you. Well, I know that was a sick one, but I also believe that we live in a society where patience is not one of the virtues that many of us have. We live in a very fast paced society where it seems that we spend more time catching up in order to get ahead, than we have patience to see what is going to happen. And when my patience run short, one of the things that I have thought about is how “long God’s patience” must be. Think about the years, the generations, the centuries that God has been patient with His people, you and I included, after sending His Son to show us how we are to live and to give us the gift of salvation. And as I think about how long that has been, even the time for me personally, and the patience that God has had to exercise for me and for all of us, as well as all of our forbearers, I get upset with my self for my lack of patients. God has been so loving, gracious, and patient with me that again I get upset with myself for my lack of patience.

We live in a society that is my first and right now. When is it that we are going to please God and relieve His patience with God first and right now? I encourage you to think about it and evaluate how much patience does God have to have with you, for the time that you will be the person God wants you to be and do the things that God wants you to do. This kind of patience is very hard for us, but God never told us that it would be easy; rather God has told us that He will always be with us. Praise the Lord! May you feel God’s presence and be patient to grow in God’s love and grace.

Have a positive day and God bless.

Marty and Jack
John 3:16